Hello All, Not sure who is all following what I have been writing but I realize that it has been a long time since I have posted anything at all. Lots has changed and lots is still going on. Not even sure where I should really even start.
Well since the last time I wrote anything at all we were in the middle of looking for a new place to live. We did find something even though it is not my ideal home. It is a smaller, older home. No central air and the circuits are messed up here. The wall unit for the air conditioner can not be on the same time I have the washer and dryer running. Can you imagine what it is like to need to really wash laundry and it being as hot as it has been. Ish, I for one was not happy. In any case I have been powering through this and making sure to do the laundry either early in the morning or late at night when its cool outside.
I have since obtained a full time job at a company that will remain nameless. It was okay at first, the hour long drive there and the early hours for training. I was home in the evenings so that I could make dinner and spend some time with the family before heading to bed. Right now I am in the second part of the training and the hours now I have to say suck. from noon to 9pm with Tuesdays and Saturdays off. Not to mention the hour drive there and the hour drive home. Now I don't even get a chance to see the family little alone do any of the house chores that I still do.
Don't get me wrong I love this job but I am really missing being able to be at home with the family and I actually miss cooking and cleaning the house.
I am actually at home today from work and have been for the past week because the whole family including myself have been sick. My fiance, oh yeah I almost forgot to mention I am now engaged. I'll talk about this more later. But in any case my fiance broke his foot and literally was not able to move around and could not take care of the kids. Normally we wold have had his brother helping out however he as of yesterday has moved back up north. Because he knew he was moving he has been hanging out with his friends to say his goodbye's for a while now.
I myself was in the hospital, come to find out that I have uterine and ovarian cysts. More info to come on this also as I have follow up appointments to determine what will be best for me.
The kids have been sick with who knows what. I feel so bad for them when they are not feeling well. I even hate to admit this but when they puked I was glad that it was not all over like normal. They kept it on a blanket this time which is far more easier to clean than when it's all over the floor. : )
LOL then my fiance was able to take the half cast off cause the doctors determined it was a torn tendon....who knows cause his foot still hurts. But he ended up being sick again and with a sunburn. Yep I stayed home to take care of everyone and cook and clean.
I do have to admit it was nice to be home with the family but I need to get back to work.
I am actually torn between working and wanting to be home with my family. I love to stay at home and take care of everyone and the cooking and cleaning but yet at the same time I really like to work and have the interaction with adults. Today for instance I would love to be at work because I have been around the house with a sick family. Basically I just need to get out. Oh I don't know, maybe a part time job would be better than a full time job for me. I have lots of thinking to do that is for sure.
On to happier things. I have been with my current bo for over 2 years now. Hard for me to imagine. Some days it does not feel like it has been this long and others it feels like it has been longer. I can tell you this, I am still totally and madly in love with him. Well, he asked me to marry him about 2 weeks before I started my new job in June. I can't tell you how surprised I was and how happy I was to hear him ask me. Whats even sweeter is that his 3 kids keep telling me that they think their Dad made a good choice and how much they love me. They have even called me " Mom " on a few occasions. : ) I love his kids. I love all 6 kids and that our whole family just gets along like it was meant to be from the beginning.
Well I could keep on going and lots of other things have happened but for the time being you have been caught up on the past events. I'm sure after I take a break from the computer I will come right back to it and write some more. Just one of those days where I have caught up on the house chores and feel like getting my feelings out there.
Talk to you all soon.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Moved
It was a day or two before Easter. We got a call from the owners of the house that we have been living in. They have asked us to move because they sold the house. Get this they said they wanted us to move out in ten days. TEN DAYS, are you kidding me!!!!
Well after talking with the owners they decided to give us till the end of the month to move out because we have kids in the house. I suppose this is much better than nothing at all.
So our search for a new place began. We have looked at a few places, some being to much and others not being big enough for our family. Some were just down right wrong. We did however come across one that we are trying to buy however this could take up to 90 days before the whole process is done. In the mean time we are needing something to move into now while that loan is processing.
Well we have since moved and chose a house that was smaller however had a great yard for the kids to run around and play in. 55 Acres, can you imagine all the yard work that there is to do!
Well after talking with the owners they decided to give us till the end of the month to move out because we have kids in the house. I suppose this is much better than nothing at all.
So our search for a new place began. We have looked at a few places, some being to much and others not being big enough for our family. Some were just down right wrong. We did however come across one that we are trying to buy however this could take up to 90 days before the whole process is done. In the mean time we are needing something to move into now while that loan is processing.
Well we have since moved and chose a house that was smaller however had a great yard for the kids to run around and play in. 55 Acres, can you imagine all the yard work that there is to do!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
03/30 Are Moms Really That Busy?
03/30 Are Moms Really That Busy?
Click on the link above and it will bring you to the Dr. Phil show that was on today. Now I normally don't watch this show however was interested in the show title.
I am interested in looking into this farther. For me being a stay at home Mom I might not be as busy as one who has a part time of full time job. I have however worked full time, being a single Mom of 3 and feel I was very busy all the time. My leisure time was for maybe a few hours a night if I decided to stay up late once the kids finally fell asleep.
I did not catch the whole show but was appalled that a man, who I heard has no kids, would feel that Mom's are not that busy. Are you kidding me!!!!
More to follow once I review the show and those who appeared on the show.
Click on the link above and it will bring you to the Dr. Phil show that was on today. Now I normally don't watch this show however was interested in the show title.
I am interested in looking into this farther. For me being a stay at home Mom I might not be as busy as one who has a part time of full time job. I have however worked full time, being a single Mom of 3 and feel I was very busy all the time. My leisure time was for maybe a few hours a night if I decided to stay up late once the kids finally fell asleep.
I did not catch the whole show but was appalled that a man, who I heard has no kids, would feel that Mom's are not that busy. Are you kidding me!!!!
More to follow once I review the show and those who appeared on the show.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Fugly
I am sure that some have heard of the word "fugly" and others have not. But just in case it means fat and ugly.
I would say for almost a month now I have been feeling unattractive, fat, ugly, unmotivated, and just plain miserable. I think that allot of this started when a member of the family had taken some time away from our home and when SO had to go up north. Of course he was with his kids which I don't mind, but it was the first time I had not gone with him and the longest that we had been apart. The family member that stays with us of course is back home and SO is also home now but they both are always out working from early am to late am hours. Nope they do not get much sleep but the work helps to pay for our bills.
In any case this left me at home with the kids and not much to do. Although one of the local libraries has become one of our favorite places to visit on a weekly basis, to me this is not much. Recently I have been taking the kids out window shopping and even grocery shopping to help the time pass by. Most of those days started out late however because I could not get motivated enough to take a shower or even find something that I felt I looked okay in and yet was comfortable enough to wear. Of course I did take a shower, tried to figure out how to fix my hair to no avail. Put on lotion and all the things that one might do to feel "pretty" again. Nothing worked. Not the showers, the lotions, the perfumes, or taking the kids out shopping and visiting my parents. I was still feeling down and out and plain worn out.
During these trying days for me, my kids have been what I would call exceptionally fantastic. They did what I asked of them and always gave me my dose of hugs and kisses. : ) Just thinking about how great they have been brings a huge smile to my face and tears to my eyes. I don't know what it is but they always seem to know when mommy needs some extra love, care and attention. Of course I am sure that they just loved the movies that they received and the clothes that they got from Gma and Gpa.
Finally this past weekend I decided that I needed to do something for myself to try and help me feel better. After taking the kids to the library I went to a nail salon and had a pedicure done. Oh how it felt so good to be pampered for a little while. Not to mention that my feet don't look so gross any more. Well they looked gross to me considering I don't like feet. I don't know what it is about them but if they are painted I can tolerate them. Now I have to admit, I don't think that I have ever come across such a fantastic nail salon. My DD got her finger nails painted for free and the workers even helped keep an eye on my DS's with me. I am not sure if this is normal, but I for one was glad. Great Exceptional service and I will continue to visit them in the future. When I left I cried. I felt a tad better about myself but was happier that my kids were so well behaved in the salon. I thought for sure they would have started to argue or something. They tend to miss behave when they sit with nothing to do for too long.
If I have not already mentioned this, I love Love LOVE my kids!!!!
In any case while getting my nails done I am still not feeling all that good about myself. I talked with SO about how I was feeling and he reassured me that he loved me. I still can't help but feel like I am unattractive for him and for myself.
At this point I think that my next step is to try and continue being more active with my kids and push myself to clean and cook around the house. I even plan on starting to walk again now that the weather is getting nicer and you won't freeze your butt off when you walk out the door.
One other thing that I keep putting off is visiting the doctor for an ongoing medical issue. (Mental note to self, make that doctor's appointment!)
While there might be some other reasons that I might be feeling fugly, I will take it one day at a time and keep getting up to the 3 smiling faces whom I know love me with all their heart.
I would say for almost a month now I have been feeling unattractive, fat, ugly, unmotivated, and just plain miserable. I think that allot of this started when a member of the family had taken some time away from our home and when SO had to go up north. Of course he was with his kids which I don't mind, but it was the first time I had not gone with him and the longest that we had been apart. The family member that stays with us of course is back home and SO is also home now but they both are always out working from early am to late am hours. Nope they do not get much sleep but the work helps to pay for our bills.
In any case this left me at home with the kids and not much to do. Although one of the local libraries has become one of our favorite places to visit on a weekly basis, to me this is not much. Recently I have been taking the kids out window shopping and even grocery shopping to help the time pass by. Most of those days started out late however because I could not get motivated enough to take a shower or even find something that I felt I looked okay in and yet was comfortable enough to wear. Of course I did take a shower, tried to figure out how to fix my hair to no avail. Put on lotion and all the things that one might do to feel "pretty" again. Nothing worked. Not the showers, the lotions, the perfumes, or taking the kids out shopping and visiting my parents. I was still feeling down and out and plain worn out.
During these trying days for me, my kids have been what I would call exceptionally fantastic. They did what I asked of them and always gave me my dose of hugs and kisses. : ) Just thinking about how great they have been brings a huge smile to my face and tears to my eyes. I don't know what it is but they always seem to know when mommy needs some extra love, care and attention. Of course I am sure that they just loved the movies that they received and the clothes that they got from Gma and Gpa.
Finally this past weekend I decided that I needed to do something for myself to try and help me feel better. After taking the kids to the library I went to a nail salon and had a pedicure done. Oh how it felt so good to be pampered for a little while. Not to mention that my feet don't look so gross any more. Well they looked gross to me considering I don't like feet. I don't know what it is about them but if they are painted I can tolerate them. Now I have to admit, I don't think that I have ever come across such a fantastic nail salon. My DD got her finger nails painted for free and the workers even helped keep an eye on my DS's with me. I am not sure if this is normal, but I for one was glad. Great Exceptional service and I will continue to visit them in the future. When I left I cried. I felt a tad better about myself but was happier that my kids were so well behaved in the salon. I thought for sure they would have started to argue or something. They tend to miss behave when they sit with nothing to do for too long.
If I have not already mentioned this, I love Love LOVE my kids!!!!
In any case while getting my nails done I am still not feeling all that good about myself. I talked with SO about how I was feeling and he reassured me that he loved me. I still can't help but feel like I am unattractive for him and for myself.
At this point I think that my next step is to try and continue being more active with my kids and push myself to clean and cook around the house. I even plan on starting to walk again now that the weather is getting nicer and you won't freeze your butt off when you walk out the door.
One other thing that I keep putting off is visiting the doctor for an ongoing medical issue. (Mental note to self, make that doctor's appointment!)
While there might be some other reasons that I might be feeling fugly, I will take it one day at a time and keep getting up to the 3 smiling faces whom I know love me with all their heart.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Just another Day.
Today after talking with a long time friend of mine, whom I have known for about 12 years, I realized that I have not blogged in some time now. It was nice to catch up with him as it had been a while. I was able to catch up on a few things and even mentioned my blog to him.
In any case today was SO's Birthday and we had a small celebration with the kids. They were so excited to have cake. I think that is the one thing they look forward to on any one's Birthday. If you ask them what they want for their own Birthday they will tell you Cake, Presents and decorations. Simple enough. They even know who they want to see visit with them.
Right now we have one of our friends here hanging out and playing Tiger Woods Golf game. I would normally play but opted out so that I could catch up a little bit.
Recently I have been writing on my own to sort out how I feel about things. I found it to be amazing at how much I had to say. I think that it was over 20 pages had written in the matter of a few days. SO thought that I was writing a book. LOL if he only knew how much I really do write some times. At some point I will share these writings but I am not ready at this time as they are more than personal to me.
I still have many blog ideas but just can't seem to get motivated to put anything together at the time. Maybe when the morning is new I will get a fresh start. Right now I am just so worn out. Lots has to do with the time change and some family things that we have going on.
Okay, I think that it's time for me to go to bed. I think tomorrow I will have more to say. Right now I just cant muster up much.
In any case today was SO's Birthday and we had a small celebration with the kids. They were so excited to have cake. I think that is the one thing they look forward to on any one's Birthday. If you ask them what they want for their own Birthday they will tell you Cake, Presents and decorations. Simple enough. They even know who they want to see visit with them.
Right now we have one of our friends here hanging out and playing Tiger Woods Golf game. I would normally play but opted out so that I could catch up a little bit.
Recently I have been writing on my own to sort out how I feel about things. I found it to be amazing at how much I had to say. I think that it was over 20 pages had written in the matter of a few days. SO thought that I was writing a book. LOL if he only knew how much I really do write some times. At some point I will share these writings but I am not ready at this time as they are more than personal to me.
I still have many blog ideas but just can't seem to get motivated to put anything together at the time. Maybe when the morning is new I will get a fresh start. Right now I am just so worn out. Lots has to do with the time change and some family things that we have going on.
Okay, I think that it's time for me to go to bed. I think tomorrow I will have more to say. Right now I just cant muster up much.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Happy Birthday
So today my boys turned 5. I can't believe 5 years ago I was in the hospital in the early am hours getting ready to have them. I remember I was awake all night and could not sleep. The contractions were getting more painful and closer together. I called their father and said it was time. LOL I don't think he thought they were really ready to come into the world just yet. In any case around 7am there they were. Two very healthy boys with all ten fingers and ten toes. : ) It brings a tear to my eye.
Here we are 5 years later and they have grown from little babies who were so small you had to handle them with care to boys who are strong, smart and getting taller by the minute.
Their dad, his GF, and step brother and sister were able to join us today. It was a nice surprise for the kids as I had not told them who would be here to party with them. I only asked them who they would like to have here. They certainly got their wish. He brought the cake and gifts for all three of the kids. He did not want our daughter to feel left out which I could appreciate cause my BF thought of the same thing.
We had their favorite meal/treat....PIZZA! Following this we opened their gifts. Here comes their favorite part of the food. The frosting covered cake. There had to be at least half and inch of frosting for the base not to mention the decorative parts. As is tradition the birthday person gets the corner pieces with the most frosting. Here we are 3 hours later and they have way more energy than when they got up.
LOL might not help that a good friend of BF and mine is here and they love to play with him. Oh and wouldn't you know it, their dad got them transformer toys and so did our friend. I am starting to get really good at putting these things back together.
Our night has not yet ended. We are letting the kids all stay up late and listen to live music being played in our basement as we speak. With that being said I will go and join them and help the kids wear out the sugar in their systems.
Happy 5th Birthday Aaron and David.
Here we are 5 years later and they have grown from little babies who were so small you had to handle them with care to boys who are strong, smart and getting taller by the minute.
Their dad, his GF, and step brother and sister were able to join us today. It was a nice surprise for the kids as I had not told them who would be here to party with them. I only asked them who they would like to have here. They certainly got their wish. He brought the cake and gifts for all three of the kids. He did not want our daughter to feel left out which I could appreciate cause my BF thought of the same thing.
We had their favorite meal/treat....PIZZA! Following this we opened their gifts. Here comes their favorite part of the food. The frosting covered cake. There had to be at least half and inch of frosting for the base not to mention the decorative parts. As is tradition the birthday person gets the corner pieces with the most frosting. Here we are 3 hours later and they have way more energy than when they got up.
LOL might not help that a good friend of BF and mine is here and they love to play with him. Oh and wouldn't you know it, their dad got them transformer toys and so did our friend. I am starting to get really good at putting these things back together.
Our night has not yet ended. We are letting the kids all stay up late and listen to live music being played in our basement as we speak. With that being said I will go and join them and help the kids wear out the sugar in their systems.
Happy 5th Birthday Aaron and David.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Tubal Ligation, good or bad?
For some of you there is no secret to the amount of pain that I am in and problems I have each month with my menstrual cycle. This has been going on since I had my tubes tied in 2006 and has progressively gotten worse. I go to the ER almost every month to try and find something to alleviate the pain. No solution has been found as of yet and I continue to visit the doctor each month. Now I am wondering if I might have ovarian cysts or maybe even something worse.
With those issues set aside, after talking with a friend of mine and deciding that I would like the option to have another child I started my research. Upon my research I stumbled across something called post tubal ligation syndrome (TLS, PTS, or PTLS). The following is information that I found and some of the sites for them.
Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome (PTLS or PTS), Iatrogenesis, Iatroepidemic, and Ovarian Isolation Defined
Dr. Hufnagel, and the CPTwomen.
Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome: Iatrogenesis affects that create negative health conditions after a tubal ligation or female sterilization surgery. Can be hormonal and or physical in nature. Health changes both physical and hormonal can cause mental health to be affected, causing loss of sexual drive for the woman, memory loss, depression, anger and rage.
Iatrogenesis: A Greek word which means "doctor-caused" or "doctor produced". It is a medical term meaning harm done by doctors, or negative side effect(s) caused by a medical treatment or procedure. The negative side effect(s) can be due to error, negligence, or can be caused by the standard protocol of the treatment.
Iatroepidemic: An epidemic of bad outcomes or negative side effects caused by doctors and their medical treatment(s) and procedures. Examples of iatroepidemics include DES, and Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome (PTLS or PTS)
Adenomyosis: A common iatrogenesis condition of tubal ligation. Causes dysfunctional uterine bleeding (DUB) and pain.
Tubal Ligation Side Effects
Tubal ligation procedure involves surgical blockage of the fallopian tubes, with an objective to prevent fertilization in women. Some of the possible tubal ligation side effects are menstrual problems, hormonal fluctuations, post ligation syndrome and infection.
http://tuballigationreversalfacts.com/post-tubal-ligation-syndrome/
Some of the symptoms are as follows:
Painful and heavy menstrual cycles
Early onset menopause
Severe premenstrual cycle
Decrease or loss of libido
Anxiety
Ectopic pregnancy
Anxiety
Vaginal dryness
Palpitations
Hot flashes
Cold flashes
Problems sleeping or insomnia
Mood swings
Some physicians report that women have post-tubal ligation syndrome, which involves irregular and painful periods, bleeding in a mid-cycle, or no menstrual periods. Although some doctors claim there is no proof for the existence of such syndrome, some extra research should be done to confirm it or not.
A great blog that I just found. http://posttuballigationsyndrome.blogspot.com/ I have read portions of this blog and can totally relate to her. I would have to agree, if your thinking about getting a tubal ligation, do not do it.
One of the most destructive things a woman can do to her body is to undergo sterilization. The sterilization process can cause damage and injury to women's reproductive and other vital organs in a number of ways. These conditions are all addressed with FRS, without the need for hysterectomy." - Dr.VGH
These symptoms are very real for me and I will continue to research this. I wished I never had my tubes tied and wish I had been more informed of what could happen after the procedure. I am also still going to look into having a tubal reversal for the hopes that it can possibly alleviate my pain but also allow me the chance to have another child if I so choose.
With those issues set aside, after talking with a friend of mine and deciding that I would like the option to have another child I started my research. Upon my research I stumbled across something called post tubal ligation syndrome (TLS, PTS, or PTLS). The following is information that I found and some of the sites for them.
Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome (PTLS or PTS), Iatrogenesis, Iatroepidemic, and Ovarian Isolation Defined
Dr. Hufnagel, and the CPTwomen.
Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome: Iatrogenesis affects that create negative health conditions after a tubal ligation or female sterilization surgery. Can be hormonal and or physical in nature. Health changes both physical and hormonal can cause mental health to be affected, causing loss of sexual drive for the woman, memory loss, depression, anger and rage.
Iatrogenesis: A Greek word which means "doctor-caused" or "doctor produced". It is a medical term meaning harm done by doctors, or negative side effect(s) caused by a medical treatment or procedure. The negative side effect(s) can be due to error, negligence, or can be caused by the standard protocol of the treatment.
Iatroepidemic: An epidemic of bad outcomes or negative side effects caused by doctors and their medical treatment(s) and procedures. Examples of iatroepidemics include DES, and Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome (PTLS or PTS)
Adenomyosis: A common iatrogenesis condition of tubal ligation. Causes dysfunctional uterine bleeding (DUB) and pain.
Tubal Ligation Side Effects
Tubal ligation procedure involves surgical blockage of the fallopian tubes, with an objective to prevent fertilization in women. Some of the possible tubal ligation side effects are menstrual problems, hormonal fluctuations, post ligation syndrome and infection.
http://tuballigationreversalfacts.com/post-tubal-ligation-syndrome/
Some of the symptoms are as follows:
Painful and heavy menstrual cycles
Early onset menopause
Severe premenstrual cycle
Decrease or loss of libido
Anxiety
Ectopic pregnancy
Anxiety
Vaginal dryness
Palpitations
Hot flashes
Cold flashes
Problems sleeping or insomnia
Mood swings
Some physicians report that women have post-tubal ligation syndrome, which involves irregular and painful periods, bleeding in a mid-cycle, or no menstrual periods. Although some doctors claim there is no proof for the existence of such syndrome, some extra research should be done to confirm it or not.
A great blog that I just found. http://posttuballigationsyndrome.blogspot.com/ I have read portions of this blog and can totally relate to her. I would have to agree, if your thinking about getting a tubal ligation, do not do it.
One of the most destructive things a woman can do to her body is to undergo sterilization. The sterilization process can cause damage and injury to women's reproductive and other vital organs in a number of ways. These conditions are all addressed with FRS, without the need for hysterectomy." - Dr.VGH
These symptoms are very real for me and I will continue to research this. I wished I never had my tubes tied and wish I had been more informed of what could happen after the procedure. I am also still going to look into having a tubal reversal for the hopes that it can possibly alleviate my pain but also allow me the chance to have another child if I so choose.
Behave 1
As I mentioned before I have been reading a book called "How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!". Here you will see a continuation to the book and what I have read thus far.
Being a good Model. A role model you say, guess I did not really think of myself as a role model to anyone little alone my own kids. But the book is right, I am a major influence on what my kids are going to decide.
So, lesson one. Admit when you make a mistake and your child sees it. An example of this could be when you use fowl language. As much as we try not to use fowl language around our kids it slips out once and a while. I do have to admit that it is funny to hear my kids use those words on occasion but it is wrong. So as I choke back my urge to laugh I have to explain to them why it was wrong for me to use that word and that they should not use it either. The book goes on to say that you should explain how you felt at the time fowl language was used. I don't feel that this is always going to be necessary.
When using "a calm voice it will teach children to remain calm when provoked." I have been working very hard at this and will admit that I slip up from time to time. Like today when there were other things that provoked my bad mood. I found that I was short tempered and upset easily with the kids mis-behavior. I finally just had to step outside and collect myself so that I could continue to remain calm.
"Follow through." Do what you say your going to do no matter what. I have a huge problem with following through. I tend to feel bad and let the kids out of time out early. This has gotten me no where when it comes to proper discipline. The kids have my number here, they know that I'll let them out of time out early and they will continue to mis-behave the rest of the day. Sometimes I can't wait for bed time once this happens.
"If your child's behavior concerns you, look closely at your own behavior. Children learn what they live." Yep, you know the curse. " I hope you have kids just like you." So true. My children as great as they are, are lots like me and I can't believe my parents are still sane.
"If you want your children's behavior to change, look at your own behavior." "Your change in behavior affects your children's change in behavior."
Since starting this book I have seen some changes in the kids. When I remain calm and give the kids choices I found that they remain calm and make great choices. Today I was not calm and the kids did not make the best choices. I am going to keep on trying to improve myself. My small amount of improvement feels like a huge improvement when it comes to the kids.
Being a good Model. A role model you say, guess I did not really think of myself as a role model to anyone little alone my own kids. But the book is right, I am a major influence on what my kids are going to decide.
So, lesson one. Admit when you make a mistake and your child sees it. An example of this could be when you use fowl language. As much as we try not to use fowl language around our kids it slips out once and a while. I do have to admit that it is funny to hear my kids use those words on occasion but it is wrong. So as I choke back my urge to laugh I have to explain to them why it was wrong for me to use that word and that they should not use it either. The book goes on to say that you should explain how you felt at the time fowl language was used. I don't feel that this is always going to be necessary.
When using "a calm voice it will teach children to remain calm when provoked." I have been working very hard at this and will admit that I slip up from time to time. Like today when there were other things that provoked my bad mood. I found that I was short tempered and upset easily with the kids mis-behavior. I finally just had to step outside and collect myself so that I could continue to remain calm.
"Follow through." Do what you say your going to do no matter what. I have a huge problem with following through. I tend to feel bad and let the kids out of time out early. This has gotten me no where when it comes to proper discipline. The kids have my number here, they know that I'll let them out of time out early and they will continue to mis-behave the rest of the day. Sometimes I can't wait for bed time once this happens.
"If your child's behavior concerns you, look closely at your own behavior. Children learn what they live." Yep, you know the curse. " I hope you have kids just like you." So true. My children as great as they are, are lots like me and I can't believe my parents are still sane.
"If you want your children's behavior to change, look at your own behavior." "Your change in behavior affects your children's change in behavior."
Since starting this book I have seen some changes in the kids. When I remain calm and give the kids choices I found that they remain calm and make great choices. Today I was not calm and the kids did not make the best choices. I am going to keep on trying to improve myself. My small amount of improvement feels like a huge improvement when it comes to the kids.
Monday Blues
Before I start to write what I planned I need to just vent for a moment. It has been one heck of a Monday today. Steel Waseca Co-op tried to shut off our electric today, the city wants to shut off the water tomorrow, and the boys can't go to pre-school tommorrow as of now. The world runs on money and I really dis like this.
If only I had a money tree and could just pick some when needed. I would make it ripe year round and would share with family and friends.
Oh what else has gone wrong today. One of the boys decided that because they could not make it to the bathroom they would pee on a teddy bear. Not their bear but mine that I have had for lord knows how long now. In fact it is the one that my Mom's BF got for me when I first met him. I love that bear and now it has pee on it. My truck is broken down....stupid person who has no ins. no license, stolen car, illegal imigrant who hit the truck a while back. That guy went to jail and is getting sent back to where ever he came from.
Anyways, I think that is enough of venting for the time being. Sorry if I depresed anyone.
If only I had a money tree and could just pick some when needed. I would make it ripe year round and would share with family and friends.
Oh what else has gone wrong today. One of the boys decided that because they could not make it to the bathroom they would pee on a teddy bear. Not their bear but mine that I have had for lord knows how long now. In fact it is the one that my Mom's BF got for me when I first met him. I love that bear and now it has pee on it. My truck is broken down....stupid person who has no ins. no license, stolen car, illegal imigrant who hit the truck a while back. That guy went to jail and is getting sent back to where ever he came from.
Anyways, I think that is enough of venting for the time being. Sorry if I depresed anyone.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!
I recently went to my first teacher parent conference for my boys. They are only in pre-school and I know that they may have some problems down the road with learning. I wanted to meet with their teacher so that I could get a head start on things. In any case while I was at the school waiting for their teacher I found a book that was sitting out for the world to see. "How to Behave So Your Children will, Too!" written by Sal Severe Ph.D. Okay, I am a sucker right now cause I am willing to try or read about anything to get my kids to behave better. Some days I am ready to throw in the towel, I just can't seem to get them to listen to me and follow rules or do as I ask. So I checked the book out and have begun my reading.
I have not yet finished reading the book however I have found that some things I read have really started to work, or so they seem to be.
First, Changing your behavior: Where to begin. I was asked to write down behaviors I need to Practice more, practice less of and behaviors I need to continue. Easy enough I thought. For things I wanted to do more of I thought about patience, consistency, and follow through. I found the more than I read the book the more things I found I wanted to practice more of. Offer them choices, more praise for the good things they do. Lets see what would I like to practice less of....Well there is the loosing my temper at them. I don't like myself after I get at them for doing something wrong. The yelling when I do get upset with them. Quite frankly my throat hurts when I get mad and yell at them. Lets not forget what I wold like to continue. I had nothing cause I was not doing anything, in my opinion, that was working.
"Discipline means teaching decision making. The purpose of discipline is not control, but cooperation. Cooperation means that your children choose to behave because it makes sense to behave." When I read this it just made sense to me. An obvious duhh came to mind.
"Discipline should not be a negative force that brings bad feelings to everyone involved." OMG I hate the bad feelings I get after I catch the kids doing something wrong.
So with this not even a chapter into the book I have determined that I need to give my kids a choice. Example: If a child makes a mess, try to praise them for trying too..(what ever it was they did, like making their own lunch), then ask them to clean up and have them ask you if they need help cleaning up. Why did I not think of this. I normally would send my kids to their room or to a corner and I would pick up all on my own and get more upset that I had to clean it up.
So for the rest of that day I offered my children choices. In all cases they chose to do what it was that I wanted them to do. Like any normal child they did try and test to see if I was going to do what I said. Of course when they did the opposite I did send them to their room for a time out. See I followed through. I remained calm when talking with them and it worked. I can only hope that by me changing my behavior theirs will soon change as well.
I will continue with findings in this book. In the future they will be titled Behave 1, 2, 3 etc.
I have not yet finished reading the book however I have found that some things I read have really started to work, or so they seem to be.
First, Changing your behavior: Where to begin. I was asked to write down behaviors I need to Practice more, practice less of and behaviors I need to continue. Easy enough I thought. For things I wanted to do more of I thought about patience, consistency, and follow through. I found the more than I read the book the more things I found I wanted to practice more of. Offer them choices, more praise for the good things they do. Lets see what would I like to practice less of....Well there is the loosing my temper at them. I don't like myself after I get at them for doing something wrong. The yelling when I do get upset with them. Quite frankly my throat hurts when I get mad and yell at them. Lets not forget what I wold like to continue. I had nothing cause I was not doing anything, in my opinion, that was working.
"Discipline means teaching decision making. The purpose of discipline is not control, but cooperation. Cooperation means that your children choose to behave because it makes sense to behave." When I read this it just made sense to me. An obvious duhh came to mind.
"Discipline should not be a negative force that brings bad feelings to everyone involved." OMG I hate the bad feelings I get after I catch the kids doing something wrong.
So with this not even a chapter into the book I have determined that I need to give my kids a choice. Example: If a child makes a mess, try to praise them for trying too..(what ever it was they did, like making their own lunch), then ask them to clean up and have them ask you if they need help cleaning up. Why did I not think of this. I normally would send my kids to their room or to a corner and I would pick up all on my own and get more upset that I had to clean it up.
So for the rest of that day I offered my children choices. In all cases they chose to do what it was that I wanted them to do. Like any normal child they did try and test to see if I was going to do what I said. Of course when they did the opposite I did send them to their room for a time out. See I followed through. I remained calm when talking with them and it worked. I can only hope that by me changing my behavior theirs will soon change as well.
I will continue with findings in this book. In the future they will be titled Behave 1, 2, 3 etc.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Spirituality
Spirituality involves a sense of connection to something greater than oneself with includes emotional, psychological, and personal experiences. Spirituality includes religion, astrology, meditation, and new age waves of thought.
I think that this is one of the best descriptions that I have come accross at this time. Of course I will continue to look at what others feel and or say. However recently I feel that I have become more spiritual. I want to become more spiritual with myself and my life.
It seems like almost every day I see a quote from a bible that holds true to my heart or someone has talked about versus in the bible that hold true to real life events happening through out the world today. I want to know more......
I may not go to church every Sunday as I did when I was growing up but I do have my own beleifs. I feel that everything happens in a persons life for a reason. I also beleive that there is a higher power at work in our lives. One poem I will leave you with for now is the "Footprints" poem. It is one of my favorites and I hold close to my heart. If not for this poem I sometimes fear I would have lost my way to the next day.
FootPrints
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach
with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes
from his life. For each scene, he noticed two
sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging
to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed
before him, he looked back at the foot-
prints in the sand. He noticed that many
times along the path of his life there was
only one set of footprints. He also noticed
that it happened at the very lowest and
saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it. "Lord,
you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way. But I have
noticed that during the most troublesome
times in my life, there is only one set of foot-
prints. I don't understand why when I
needed you most you would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you, and would never leave
you. During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."
-Author unknown
I think that this is one of the best descriptions that I have come accross at this time. Of course I will continue to look at what others feel and or say. However recently I feel that I have become more spiritual. I want to become more spiritual with myself and my life.
It seems like almost every day I see a quote from a bible that holds true to my heart or someone has talked about versus in the bible that hold true to real life events happening through out the world today. I want to know more......
I may not go to church every Sunday as I did when I was growing up but I do have my own beleifs. I feel that everything happens in a persons life for a reason. I also beleive that there is a higher power at work in our lives. One poem I will leave you with for now is the "Footprints" poem. It is one of my favorites and I hold close to my heart. If not for this poem I sometimes fear I would have lost my way to the next day.
FootPrints
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach
with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes
from his life. For each scene, he noticed two
sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging
to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed
before him, he looked back at the foot-
prints in the sand. He noticed that many
times along the path of his life there was
only one set of footprints. He also noticed
that it happened at the very lowest and
saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it. "Lord,
you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way. But I have
noticed that during the most troublesome
times in my life, there is only one set of foot-
prints. I don't understand why when I
needed you most you would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you, and would never leave
you. During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."
-Author unknown
August 2004 My First Pregnancy
It was the First of August 2004 and I planned to talk with my Dad and Step Mom about being pregnant. It also happened to be by cousins Bridal Shower and an other cousins birthday party this same day. While sitting at a table with my Step Mom and a few of the Aunt's I told Mom that I needed to talk with her and Dad later that day.
Oh how can I explain this. Well my Aunt overheard me talking to my Step Mom and blurted out loud that she thought I was Pregnant. I was so dumbfounded that I could not speak. It was now obvious to everyone there that this was the truth and I now was committed to talking with my Dad later that day.
I remember when I got to my Aunt's house I tried to get my Dad alone what seemed like the whole day. I finally had my Step Mom help me get him alone so that I could talk to him. My parents did not like the father and seemed to me to be upset once I told them that I was having twins. I can not recall if I cried when I told them or if I was upset at them for not being happy for me. It to me was a good day gone bad.
I don't think that I will ever forget this day. How could anyone. What should be a happy day for both you and your parents to celebrate the new coming of a child.
But you know, I am not upset with how my parents felt. They were in their right. If you don't already know me, you will find that I am actually no longer with the father of my three beautiful children. I am now with a very kind loving man who loves my kids as his own and whom my parents all like I might add.
Till Later.
Oh how can I explain this. Well my Aunt overheard me talking to my Step Mom and blurted out loud that she thought I was Pregnant. I was so dumbfounded that I could not speak. It was now obvious to everyone there that this was the truth and I now was committed to talking with my Dad later that day.
I remember when I got to my Aunt's house I tried to get my Dad alone what seemed like the whole day. I finally had my Step Mom help me get him alone so that I could talk to him. My parents did not like the father and seemed to me to be upset once I told them that I was having twins. I can not recall if I cried when I told them or if I was upset at them for not being happy for me. It to me was a good day gone bad.
I don't think that I will ever forget this day. How could anyone. What should be a happy day for both you and your parents to celebrate the new coming of a child.
But you know, I am not upset with how my parents felt. They were in their right. If you don't already know me, you will find that I am actually no longer with the father of my three beautiful children. I am now with a very kind loving man who loves my kids as his own and whom my parents all like I might add.
Till Later.
Monday, February 15, 2010
My Dad
Today when I was going through some paperwork looking for a notebook I had written in I came across a book that he had given to me. "Butterfly Kisses & Bittersweet Tears" by Bob Carlisle. He had given this to my in 1998, the year that I graduated from High School and also the year that my parents were going through a divorce.
When I opened the book I read an inscription that he wrote to me all those years ago that mean so much more to me now than I think they did then.
Titled " Look Ahead to Tomorrow"
"There is always the hope of tomorrow to brighten the clouds of today, there is always a corner for turning no matter how weary the way... so just look ahead to tomorrow and trust that you'll find waiting there the sunlight that seemed to be hidden by yesterday's clouds of despair."
I read this book today for I think the first time. And for the first time I think I truly realized how much my dad really loves me and will always love me no matter what. In fact just a few days ago I talked with my Dad and what it was like before I was born and what he felt when I was born. While my Mom may have been scared to tell Dad that she was pregnant with me, she need not be as he was so excited. He knew the minute I was on my way it was the right time in his life to have a family.
God works in mystious ways. He gave me to my Dad and brought my Dad to me.
I Love you Dad. Thank you for all you have done for me and continue to do without asking questions. Dad is my constant support and I will never forget this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmC3rJR7E98
When I opened the book I read an inscription that he wrote to me all those years ago that mean so much more to me now than I think they did then.
Titled " Look Ahead to Tomorrow"
"There is always the hope of tomorrow to brighten the clouds of today, there is always a corner for turning no matter how weary the way... so just look ahead to tomorrow and trust that you'll find waiting there the sunlight that seemed to be hidden by yesterday's clouds of despair."
I read this book today for I think the first time. And for the first time I think I truly realized how much my dad really loves me and will always love me no matter what. In fact just a few days ago I talked with my Dad and what it was like before I was born and what he felt when I was born. While my Mom may have been scared to tell Dad that she was pregnant with me, she need not be as he was so excited. He knew the minute I was on my way it was the right time in his life to have a family.
God works in mystious ways. He gave me to my Dad and brought my Dad to me.
I Love you Dad. Thank you for all you have done for me and continue to do without asking questions. Dad is my constant support and I will never forget this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmC3rJR7E98
July 2004 My First Pregnancy
I remember the first time that I had gone to see the doctor to confirm my suspicion on being pregnant. They did their normal pee test and blood work. After waiting for what seemed like forever I got the confirmation that I was indeed pregnant.
After finding out that I was pregnant I was told that I needed to look for a doctor that would be able to deliver at one of two hospitals that the clinics associated with. I also then needed to consider which doctor would be seeing the child after it was born.
This was all so new to me that I did not think to ask any questions. I went on my way and called the father, who by the way I did not marry, to give him the news. I was so excited. All I could think that I was now starting a family and did not have to worry cause the father would be there. At the same time I was scared. Was I even ready to start a family? I then called my Mom and talked to her about it. She of course was happy for me even though I was not in a great position to be having kids.
A few days went by and I got a call from the doctor who confirmed my pregnancy and was told that I needed to see a special doctor due to a prior medical problem in my past. I was now considered a "High Risk" Pregnancy. Again I asked no questions and made the call to the person to whom I was referred to.
A week or so went by and I was able to see the doctor that I was referred to. To my surprise the father of the child was actually there waiting for me. I was so nervous while sitting in the waiting room. In any case I sat there and waited, and waited and waited. I think I was there for over an hour waiting to see the doctor. Mind you I was only about 5 min early to the appointment. The doctor was not even in the office on time that day and he had other patients to see before me. Problem number 1 noticed. Because the doctor was so late the father was no longer able to stay with me as he had to work. Problem number 2. The rooms were so small that I was not sure how this doctor could properly care for anyone. There was no privacy either. With the rooms being so small you could only fit the patient and the doctor at one time. This upset me a great deal. Problem number 3. I am now being referred to another place that will handle my pregnancy. WTF, now I feel like I am being passed off cause no one cares. Again I asked no questions and called the next place that I was being referred to.
It's now almost the end of July and I sit in another waiting room with the father not knowing what to expect. This time I did not have to wait for a long amount of time. Shortly after getting there we were called to the back where they would do an ultra sound. The office was much larger and so were the rooms. This meant that the father could be there with me. Because I was considered a high risk pregnancy I was able to have an ultra sound earlier than most.
The person who did the ultra sound began.....We found the baby and saw that everything looked normal. As she was about to conclude with the ultra sound we saw another round "something". And wouldn't you know, it was the second baby. OMG I was having identical twins. I was 5 weeks along and I was going to have 2 babies at the same time. I could not believe my eyes. This was not something I had expected but should have know since twins run in both my family and the fathers. My mind started to race on all the things that I would need to get for them.
LOL I remember the father's head just slammed against the back wall as he was also amazed at our outcome.
After the ultra sound I talked with the doctor and was advised that due to previous medical history I would need to take an injectiable medicine called heparin ( blood thinner). Again I did not ask any questions and just assumed that the doctor knew what was best for my and my twins. I also had felt comfortable there and with those that I had met.
And so my pregnancy began. During all of these first few visits with multiple doctors not one of them talked with me about any options I had on taking care of my twins while pregnant nor how or where I would be able to give birth. Why were none of these options talked about is my question. This is my first pregnancy and I of course did not think to do any research on this other than how much it would cost.
After finding out that I was pregnant I was told that I needed to look for a doctor that would be able to deliver at one of two hospitals that the clinics associated with. I also then needed to consider which doctor would be seeing the child after it was born.
This was all so new to me that I did not think to ask any questions. I went on my way and called the father, who by the way I did not marry, to give him the news. I was so excited. All I could think that I was now starting a family and did not have to worry cause the father would be there. At the same time I was scared. Was I even ready to start a family? I then called my Mom and talked to her about it. She of course was happy for me even though I was not in a great position to be having kids.
A few days went by and I got a call from the doctor who confirmed my pregnancy and was told that I needed to see a special doctor due to a prior medical problem in my past. I was now considered a "High Risk" Pregnancy. Again I asked no questions and made the call to the person to whom I was referred to.
A week or so went by and I was able to see the doctor that I was referred to. To my surprise the father of the child was actually there waiting for me. I was so nervous while sitting in the waiting room. In any case I sat there and waited, and waited and waited. I think I was there for over an hour waiting to see the doctor. Mind you I was only about 5 min early to the appointment. The doctor was not even in the office on time that day and he had other patients to see before me. Problem number 1 noticed. Because the doctor was so late the father was no longer able to stay with me as he had to work. Problem number 2. The rooms were so small that I was not sure how this doctor could properly care for anyone. There was no privacy either. With the rooms being so small you could only fit the patient and the doctor at one time. This upset me a great deal. Problem number 3. I am now being referred to another place that will handle my pregnancy. WTF, now I feel like I am being passed off cause no one cares. Again I asked no questions and called the next place that I was being referred to.
It's now almost the end of July and I sit in another waiting room with the father not knowing what to expect. This time I did not have to wait for a long amount of time. Shortly after getting there we were called to the back where they would do an ultra sound. The office was much larger and so were the rooms. This meant that the father could be there with me. Because I was considered a high risk pregnancy I was able to have an ultra sound earlier than most.
The person who did the ultra sound began.....We found the baby and saw that everything looked normal. As she was about to conclude with the ultra sound we saw another round "something". And wouldn't you know, it was the second baby. OMG I was having identical twins. I was 5 weeks along and I was going to have 2 babies at the same time. I could not believe my eyes. This was not something I had expected but should have know since twins run in both my family and the fathers. My mind started to race on all the things that I would need to get for them.
LOL I remember the father's head just slammed against the back wall as he was also amazed at our outcome.
After the ultra sound I talked with the doctor and was advised that due to previous medical history I would need to take an injectiable medicine called heparin ( blood thinner). Again I did not ask any questions and just assumed that the doctor knew what was best for my and my twins. I also had felt comfortable there and with those that I had met.
And so my pregnancy began. During all of these first few visits with multiple doctors not one of them talked with me about any options I had on taking care of my twins while pregnant nor how or where I would be able to give birth. Why were none of these options talked about is my question. This is my first pregnancy and I of course did not think to do any research on this other than how much it would cost.
Inspired
Today I decided to check out a good friends blog. While some of the things I read upset me, in a good way, it made me realize that I should have had more options to how I gave birth to my kids and also how I chose to raise them. How I only wish that I had more resources or more advise on the choices I had made at the time. My Boys are now about to be 5 and my daughter about to be 4. The past is the past and I can only continue to raise them now and into the future and know that they will get the best out of me.
In any case she helped to inspire me to continue with my current blog. I have decided that it might be a good idea for me to start with the pregnancy and birth of my children along with life's everyday ups and downs.
Girl, you know who you are and I thank you for our conversation today. You will never know how much you helped me feel better as a parent.
In any case she helped to inspire me to continue with my current blog. I have decided that it might be a good idea for me to start with the pregnancy and birth of my children along with life's everyday ups and downs.
Girl, you know who you are and I thank you for our conversation today. You will never know how much you helped me feel better as a parent.
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