How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!

I recently went to my first teacher parent conference for my boys. They are only in pre-school and I know that they may have some problems down the road with learning. I wanted to meet with their teacher so that I could get a head start on things. In any case while I was at the school waiting for their teacher I found a book that was sitting out for the world to see. "How to Behave So Your Children will, Too!" written by Sal Severe Ph.D. Okay, I am a sucker right now cause I am willing to try or read about anything to get my kids to behave better. Some days I am ready to throw in the towel, I just can't seem to get them to listen to me and follow rules or do as I ask. So I checked the book out and have begun my reading.
I have not yet finished reading the book however I have found that some things I read have really started to work, or so they seem to be.
First, Changing your behavior: Where to begin. I was asked to write down behaviors I need to Practice more, practice less of and behaviors I need to continue. Easy enough I thought. For things I wanted to do more of I thought about patience, consistency, and follow through. I found the more than I read the book the more things I found I wanted to practice more of. Offer them choices, more praise for the good things they do. Lets see what would I like to practice less of....Well there is the loosing my temper at them. I don't like myself after I get at them for doing something wrong. The yelling when I do get upset with them. Quite frankly my throat hurts when I get mad and yell at them. Lets not forget what I wold like to continue. I had nothing cause I was not doing anything, in my opinion, that was working.
"Discipline means teaching decision making. The purpose of discipline is not control, but cooperation. Cooperation means that your children choose to behave because it makes sense to behave." When I read this it just made sense to me. An obvious duhh came to mind.
"Discipline should not be a negative force that brings bad feelings to everyone involved." OMG I hate the bad feelings I get after I catch the kids doing something wrong.
So with this not even a chapter into the book I have determined that I need to give my kids a choice. Example: If a child makes a mess, try to praise them for trying too..(what ever it was they did, like making their own lunch), then ask them to clean up and have them ask you if they need help cleaning up. Why did I not think of this. I normally would send my kids to their room or to a corner and I would pick up all on my own and get more upset that I had to clean it up.
So for the rest of that day I offered my children choices. In all cases they chose to do what it was that I wanted them to do. Like any normal child they did try and test to see if I was going to do what I said. Of course when they did the opposite I did send them to their room for a time out. See I followed through. I remained calm when talking with them and it worked. I can only hope that by me changing my behavior theirs will soon change as well.

I will continue with findings in this book. In the future they will be titled Behave 1, 2, 3 etc.